


Drabble Rouser

by AVegetarianCannibal



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism, Crack, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Reckoning, cheap cheese, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVegetarianCannibal/pseuds/AVegetarianCannibal
Summary: Herein lies an assortment of drabbles, each containing exactly 100 words not counting the title, and mostly humorous in nature. New drabbles will be added as they're written, or soon after.





	1. Reckoning

Hannibal was surprised when Will barged into his office, carrying a small bag from the grocery store.

“I want you to eat my ass,” Will said as he began undressing. “In the analingus sense, not the cannibalism sense.”

Hannibal’s heart beat faster, which it so rarely did. “Will, I don’t know what to say…”

Will stripped himself completely, standing there in all of nature’s glory. Hannibal’s eyes and mouth watered.

“But _first_ ,” Will said, and reached into the grocery bag, “you have to get through _this_.”

With that, he bent over and sprayed something foamy and orange between his buttocks.

 


	2. Sweet

Beverly was talking with Will when the lab door opened.

“Just dropping this off,” Dr. Lecter said, holding up a shopping bag from Bergdorf Goodman.

Beverly glanced at Will, who blushed as he leaped to the door. He exchanged a few quiet words with Lecter that Beverly couldn’t hear before returning to her side alone.

“It–it’s a new briefcase,” Will explained unprompted. “He felt bad about spilling coffee on my old one.”

“So he went to New York to get a new one?” Beverly asked.

“He’s a good friend,” Will said.

“Will,” she said, “he’s a good _sugar daddy_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The briefcase in question is a $1500 Ermenegildo Zegna
> 
> 2\. This was a Tumblr prompt from @faintedincoils who suggested "Sugar daddy Hannibal with shy Will"


	3. An AU Where Bedelia Uses "Y'all"

“Is Hannibal,” Will began, “in love with me?”

Bedelia studied him with cool regard. She took a deep, slow breath and said, “Didn’t y'all fuck after y'all dropped off a faceless Mason Verger? Because Hannibal told me y'all fucked.”

Will opened his mouth, but only a crackly gurgling sound came out, like a mouse was in his throat eating Pop Rocks.

“Yeah, y'all fucked in your Volvo,” Bedelia said. “Don’t lie.”

Finally, Will was able to speak. “I-I mean… yeah… but is he in _love_ with me?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Get the fuck out of my house.”


	4. The Day After the Dragon Died

Jack Crawford awakes in the middle of the night, sitting bolt upright with a sudden realization. A shiver runs up his spine.

He has to call someone. Alana Bloom left the country as soon as word got out. Bedelia Du Maurier… she may or may not tell him the truth if asked. Who can he call?

He fishes around for his phone and rings up the only person left.

“A thought occurred to me,” Jack says as soon as the other end picks up. “What if Hannibal and Will were…  _in love?_ ”

Jimmy Price sighs into his phone. “Oh, _honey_.”


	5. Scent Memory

Hannibal walked into the Yankee Candle shop and was overwhelmed with wave after wave of scent. Roses clashed with chocolate cakes, lavender dallied with blueberry scones, and overlaying it all was a fog of buttercream.

A salesperson approached him, smiling. “Looking for anything in particular?”

“A friend of mine was recently… sent away,” Hannibal said. “I find I miss the way he smells. Do you have a candle that smells like nutmeg, dog hair, and river mud?”

She blinked at him. “N-not quite, but perhaps Cottage Breeze would do?”

Hannibal sniffed the candle in question and sighed. “Needs more dog.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Anavolena on tumblr prompted: If you're not already inundated with prompts: Hannibal Lecter in a Yankee Candle store.


	6. The Call

“Hello?”

“Hello, Alana.”

Her blood runs cold at the familiar voice on the other end of the line.

“How did you get this number?”

“That’s not important,” Hannibal says. “Just know that my fiance has made me promise _not_ to keep my promise to you.”

She hears a muffled male voice in the background.

“Also, he would like to know how Applesauce is doing,” Hannibal says.

“She’s fine,” Alana tells him. The conversation has the surreal quality of a dream, though she knows she’s awake.

“He’s glad to hear it,” Hannibal says. “Take care, Alana. We won’t be seeing you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from @eyes-of-tawny on tumblr:
> 
> could you please write a conversation between alana and hanni after the end of season 3? I’d love to see how that would play out!


End file.
